well here i am again. i am not doing as well as i was before. nick and i are doing fine still. but my friend josh called me last night. he told me he wanted us to hang out and stuff again and i told him no i didn't think it would be a good idea. he went crazy and started yelling and cussing. then i think i yelled back and i hung up on him. i haven't heard from him since. now i have been kinda paranoid for a while and i only slept like 2 hours last night. i am tired and yet i cannot sleep. i wanna be with nick. i feel so safe around him and i can relax. i know that he won't let anything hurt me if i let down my guard. i need to live with him so i can get plenty of sleep. haha, like that is really gonna happen. i am sure our parents would really love that one. i miss him dearly right now...oh i popped my wrist today and there was shooting pain through my wrist for like an hour...i don't think that is supposed to happen. well, i am gonna go think about stuff and get depressed all over again.