DrkAngel (drk_angel) wrote,

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well, i return and Nick and i are both still happily together. or at least i am happy and i am pretty sure he is happy too. anyways, there are a few things that i need to work out in my mind in our relationship. one is the fact that i am a fat ass. i am kind of embarrassed by it, and i wish i could be thin for Nick. i am trying...trust me, i am trying. he deserves so much better than me, and i can't get why hje would go out with someone as .....BLAH as me. but anyways, i am really happy that we are together and friday was our 3 week anniversary. anyways, today was kind of shitty but ok i guess....yea, so as you can see by my mood i am really depressed right now. i really feel like i should die right now and that i should not be here, like i should have been killed but something happened to make me not dead. it is really wierd. my only motive for living is Nick and my friends. and sometimes i just wait for the moment Nick will end the entire thing. it is just too good to be true, and especially for me. i have decided i want this song played at my funeral along with a few others. see, that is the kind of depressing shit i am thinking about. well, i think i am gonna go think and be depressed some more. who knows...maybe a miracle will happen and i will be cured of my depression......
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